Marie

The mother of my husband.  Gone in a flash.  Leaving us behind, astounded that she is gone.  

Tough year for the Martino family.  First my husband’s younger brother finally succumbed to the ravages of MS.  His passing was a waiting game.  

Then 5 months later his mom.  Her passing was sudden and took us by surprise.  Yes, she had been sick two years ago, but she made a recovery. She had been so happy to be living at the Whitney Center and was active in all the activities.  

And then she wasn’t.  The doctor told her there weren’t any more options for surgery on her ravaged digestive system and so, three days later she died.  

It seemed like a decision to go.  No sense hanging on, being infirm was not what she wanted to do.  

I miss her.  She was a good mother-in-law.  And so it seems odd to me that I grieve more for my husband’s loss than my own.  Perhaps it is because I remember how devastating it was to lose my own mom.  She had Alzheimer’s and eventually I had to put her into assisted living.  While there, I visited her daily for 6 years.  And then I didn’t.

Like me, my husband called his mom every day at 7 pm.  They would talk about nothing and everything.  They would laugh and solve the world’s problems.  And then, there was no one to call any more.  

Perhaps it isn’t for my husband that I grieve.  Perhaps this is just a matter of facing my own grief again.  

Life and death.  A strange phenomenon that I don’t understand.  It seems to have no purpose.  But there it is anyway.  Here today.  Gone tomorrow.